ok i know i know. this place is rotting away.. lol. but i just went back to sch to visit and stuff, and well, candice just got a bit melancholic when she got home. so below is the result of all my musings. lol. well, missing sch. not really the place but the ppl and lessons and all. sigh uni will be so different! sometimes i don't wanna grow up and just want to remain in my own little world. o wells.

Flowers fade while their scent remain,

Remnants of memories tucked

Behind high ponytails and laughter in our eyes.

Those simple joys tug at our heartstrings;

our tears shed over silly things we'll probably

laugh off years later. many many years

yet to come.

How have we gotten used to

being variables in a continuous equation

till we realise

that we reach till infinity

but the constants are forever going in circles,

trapped in time,

unchanging, perhaps,

till more external factors contribute to alteration.

Till constants are variables

and we become the constants instead,

forever reminiscing about our younger days

when our only concerns

were grades and scholarships and boys and acne

that plague our blissful lives.

i was living in a bubble,

but now it's burst and Carroll realises

that the only way to immortalise Alice

is to trap her on ink and paper.

but even Peter has his woes:

he watches everything from the window,

watching time past but not for him.

an eternal youth that everyone pursues -

Is what we struggle to hold on to

really what we will be contented with?

Life is a paradox;

yet paradoxes are essentials in life.

Am I only 19 or 91,

does it matter when we are all forgotten

Except for the scent of our flowers and dreams?

------------------------------

lol well i told you. you must allow a girl to muse you know. lol.

just went to watch 'The Crab Flower Club' on fri, it was great!! it's an english lyrical play, but set in the Qing dynasty and based on poems (and inspired by) Dream of the Red Chamber. 5 women from the Wu family, a respectable Qing household, come together to prepare a feast for their father's 60th birthday, and they form a poetry club, expressing their dreams, aspirations, sorrows and regrets through poetry, the only outlet through which they can voice out their innermost emotions and secrets.

the play also features a live performance by Hong Sek Chern, an award-winning Ink Artist. the play begins with her collecting her materials and starting to paint, and throughout the entire play, she's always at the back, painting, screened by a translucent screen, and it ends with her finished work. Franz Liszt's symphonic poem Les Preludes is also one of the accompaniments. 

their poetry club is called the Crab Flower Club coz they were preparing the hairy crab, a chinese delicacy, for the celebrations, and it's coz of this celebration that brought them together (the 2 elder sisters being married and lived away from their maiden home, only returning home annually for their father's bday). and the 'flower' naturally represents the sisters. 'crab flower', creates this idea of hardiness juxtaposed with femininity. which symbolises the sisters' strong will and perservering spirit as they fight and endure their sufferings. at least, tt's how i interpreted it loll. i thought there's a slight whimsicality to the name as well  hehe.. but ok, let's not go into too much details here if not i'll get carried away..

Nell Ng plays Lady Wu Chang, the eldest of the sisters and also the most talented and accomplished women in the household. however, all her accomplishments and beauty are now faded, as she is no longer in her youth. she is married to a relation of the royal family, but because of her lost youth, her husband starts to neglect and abuse her, causing her to become bitter and cynical towards men and the world. her only comforts are the presence of her sisters and the poetry club, which she insisted on forming upon her return to the Wu household for the banquet preparation. for the sake of her father's peace, she keeps her sufferings to herself, expressing all her sorrows through poetry.

the second sister Wu Yu is played by Jean Ng. Wu Yu, like her elder sister, is no longer in her youth, but she possesses a milder demeanor than her eldest sister. married to an extremely respactable family as well, she is the meek and submissive wife, but unfortunately also trapped in an unhappy marriage. she also has a 'prim and proper' kind of demeanor, with a slight lack of imagination that causes her to be insecure as to whether she could produce good poetry.

Wu Jie is the youngest sister of the Wu household. Played by Janice Koh, she is only around 16 and at the prime of her youth and beauty, with numerous suitors at her doorstep. Wu Jie is an idealist and a dreamer; she has both masculine and feminine sides to her character. she yearns to travel to europe, a dream that is almost impossible to achieve for an unmarried chinese woman in her time. (there's this part where she starts saying that she wants to learn all about european culture and teach the europeans abt chinese culture as well, like how to brew tea, and even how to bind their feet!) full of drive and ambition, she heads and takes charge of the poetry club, but there is also an instance when she sighs and gushes about her bethrothed, whom she has never even met! her only flaw is that she sees the world through rose-tinted glasses, and can barely comprehend the true state of society outside the walls of her sheltered home.

Noorlinah Mohd plays Lady Han Bing, the only daughter-in-law of the household (sister-in-law to the 3 Wu sisters). she takes great pride in her position in society and in the household and is extremely proud of her reowned culinary skills as well (though still incomparable with Lady Wu Chang's). although considered by the 2 elder sisters as the one being the happiest and luckiest in marriage, she seems to take this for granted and is always full of complaints and dissatifactions towards trivial household affairs. her bitchy and caustic nature also often causes much friction betw her and Lady Wu Chang, who is unable to tolerate her.

and lastly, Pat Toh plays sister Liao Liao, the young cousin of the Wu sisters who has come to stay with them tenporarily as her father goes away for business. she is the most comedic character among the five women, for she often makes ridiculous remarks, says the wrong thing at the wrong time, and has excessive romantic fantasies about men. she is extremely frivolous compared to her cousin Wu Jie, who strictly follows a set of personal morals and values and often tries unsuccessfully to impose them upon Liao Liao. (haha.. i still remember this part where Wu Jie tries to warn Liao Liao against meeting some carriage boy at midnight, telling her to protect her virginity and nags at her, and Liao Liao merely replied sarcastically, being exceedingly irritated that she was unable to meet the boy due to the poetry club meeting, that her cousin has 'completely killed (her) sexual desire'. lol! yes the play is filled with sexual innuendos in fact. i am being reminded of our dear Duchess, fellow lit classmates!) however, she is the faithful secretary of the poetry club, and notes/ writes down all the verses that the other 4 members compose. the superstitious girl also often tries to read the signs from the stars and link them to her romantic fate. however, her ultimate downfall and tragedy was foreshadowed by a strange dream that has both sexual and violent connotations. (i'm sure you can guess what ultimately happened to her from this hint.) even tho she calls what happened her 'retribution' for her fliratatious nature and for not heeding her cousin's warnings, personally, i find that the pathos created from her tragedy is extremely great, for she loses all her innocence, laughter and dignity in the end.

the story ends with a narration of the corrupted world, where the sisters lose everything due to political chaos and they ended up as refuges, with broken dreams and souls. sighh. it's tragic, but neverthelessly rather thought provoking..

overall, the play gives an exploration into the female psyche, and conveys the women's frustrations and sufferings from the repressed and silenced female voice. it may be set in the Qing context, but it's definitely a contemporary play, for it still speaks to women (and men too, actually) today. there are symbolism of women's revolution and feminist ideas are presented as well.

oo and i like the way the play focuses on the women, their individual desires and lamatations, and their interactions with one another. the supposedly big event, their father's birthday banquet, to which even the local magistrates and officials were invited, wasn't even played out but just mentioned, and all the women had their own perspectives abt the event too of coz. but i like the way they show what's most impt - the women. and the backdrop scene is always the kitchen, unchanging throughout the entire play, till the very last ending scene.

yup. ok i hope i havent bored you guys with my commentary. oo yes anyway, alex (with whom i went with to the play) won this lucky draw thingy and so we got to sit in the artsfest taxi home (expenses paid by them and all of coz). only 5 of these special taxis, with the lighted up 'Singapore Arts Festival' at the side.

the 5 winners and their partners. loll alex and i are the 2 girls at the right end. yea we realised we were the only female pair loll. and the youngest!

haha.. the photos are from the Artsfest blog here. and we are ermm. kinda mentioned in there. loll. it was quite weird, i didnt know there was gonna be a photoshoot or anything like tt!  so no mental preparation -.- thank goodness i kinda dressed up a bit. i almost wanted to just throw on a shirt and jeans!!

ok, going to sleep early. going to hortpark tmr with my cousins n uncle hehe.. smt like a walking/ slightly hiking trip lol. will take lots of pics and hopefully blog abt it!

wrote this after a walk in botanic gardens.. i never realised wandering among trees and plants can be addictive LOLL. it's really nice to walk around there  ok anyway these are just some musings.. i'm quite lazy to edit it  haha.. but do comment pls! 

The Gold at the End of the Rainbow

Pastoral indulgences in the city:

A paradoxical existence

Salvaging beauty

In corrupt minds.

Frangipani perfumed the air,

Dragonflies danced to the tune of falling water -

A merry party of blood-red buzz, alluding

To red flora floating in summer breeze.

The songs of birds and crickets

Serenade the lone wanderer among trees -

Peace overwhelms!

(Both mind and spirit break into song)

But yet --!

The cathartic influences of Nature

Struggles still

Against the corrupting indulgences of Capitalism.

Urban life breeds a most diseased mind,

A propaganda of its own.

Look - the butterflies dance among red and white,

Mocking us gently. We dance among banknotes.

The sun's pilgrimage across the skies - who notices

How it soaks all the land in its glorious beauty -

The gold at the end of the rainbow?

The forces of Nature and Nurture clashed,

Sword against sword. Yet both are a twin existence,

A black-and-white duality.

We yearn for a higher fulfillment,

Yet plague ourselves with infantile desires.

We drink in the beauty of Nature's garments (like a little child),

But we hunger still, after flashy cars and pretty clothes.

Our eyes are a constant audience

To honeyed advertisements

And wreaths of commercials,

Losing ourselves in the forests of city pollution.

Salvage now the situation.

Cut down the trees of corruption,

Burn the flora of commercialization

And destroy the lakes of Capitalism.

When all is done,

Our sins come not to naught.

And our faces wiped empty,

Our bodies mutilated half-limbed.

Balms nonexistent,

Only an absolute mathematical answer:

Spin the clock anticlockwise.